Dinner with a bovine

Posted on March 20, 2008

For those of you looking for a fast food restaurant catering to the chicken lover (as in one who loves chickens, not as in a chicken Casanova), allow me to make a recommendation: Chik-Fil-A. The plain old chicken sandwiches are delicious, preferably with mayo and some hot sauce. Additionally, they offer a wholesome family atmosphere and cute play area for the kiddies. And as if that weren’t enough, Tuesday nights are family nights. Kids meals are free with the purchase of a regular combo meal, plus they have balloons, coloring, and a giant cow.

I guess this 8-foot mute beast is supposed to be for the kids. Ashton sure got a kick out of it. The cow sat alone at a table reserved for kids coloring. There are few experiences quite as unsettling as trying to eat while a giant cow colors in solitude directly behind you. However, unsettling equals hilarious to Ashton, so he giggled away. The cow saw my kids staring at him and so he beckoned them over with a wave of his hoof.

Any other time I would be calling 911 if there was some dude at a table with coloring apparati staring at my kids and waving them over. Somehow, the fact that he was dressed up as a giant bovine made things ok.The kids went over and began coloring and soon he called Karina and I over as well. Interacting with my children at a table shared by this mascot turned out to be awkward. I was unsure of dressed up mascot conversation protocol…for example, is there even supposed to be conversation? I assume he is not supposed to talk in order to avoid spoiling the giant cow mystique. So do I ask “yes” or “no” questions? And if so, what? I can’t even see who is in the suit. Do I ask, “do you like your job?” I assume, based on the fact that the person is in a giant cow costume at a fast food restaurant coloring with kids, that the answer would be a resounding no. That question may also tip off my kids to the fact that they are not actually coloring with a real cow. So do I ask questions regarding day-to-day cow life? Perhaps an inquiry regarding life with 4 stomachs, or why they are afraid of grates.

This situation reminds me a lot of the Halloween situation. 364 days of the year we warn/threaten/beg our kids to never take candy from strangers. Yet every 31st of October, not only do we suspends the rule, we encourage it by taking the kids to strangers. What kind of mixed messages are we sending? I can only imagine what’s next. Perhaps a national holiday celebrated by having children following creepy old men to their car to see their puppy. I sincerely hope not…because that is just one more set of holiday decorations I need to buy.

Nerd corner

I read a story the other day that has gone relatively under the radar (pun slightly intended). According to the link in the following parentheses (http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5iTsEvMq9aGzYhmNJcRMY6kA_5xRwD8VB438G0) the F-117 Stealth fighter is being retired. This surprised me since the stealth seems like it was introduced only recently. It has been in service for over 25 years however.

There are a lot of misconceptions about the stealth. None are more annoying to me than the assumption by the uninformed that the stealth is invisible to radar. Nothing could be further from the truth. The unique materials that make up the fighter in addition to its angular surface shape merely reduce its radar signature to roughly that of a bird. Clearly this is not invisible. It’s more like making a B-52 look like an F-5. Am I right?

I never got into the whole stealth fighter thing. I mean, the thing doesn’t even hit mach 1. Come on!

Wal-Mart tidbit

I recently stumbled upon an interesting article the other day regarding my favorite corporation: Wal-Mart. According to the article linked in the (http://www.rncentral.com/nursing-library/careplans/20-surprising-ways-wal-mart-clinics-affect-us-healthcare) previous parentheses Wal-Mart will soon be running health clinics out of their stores. The article analyzes 20 surprising ways this will affect the healthcare industry, the vast majority being positive. My only question is: how do you say “turn your head and cough” in Chinese? Well, David, question no longer for the answer according to Dictionary.com is: (insert actual Chinese characters here since Myspace apparently can’t handle it). Well, duh. Unfortunately though, I have no idea how to pronounce it. So, to be safe, I guess I’ll just drop my drawers anyways. This always seems to be the eventual instruction I get from my doctor anytime I visit the clinic. Sore hip: drop your drawers, turn your head and cough. Tummy ache: drop ’em, turn it and cough. Runny nose: Drop, turn, and cough.

Oh well, until next time…(more Chinese stuff).

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