The Dark Knight…and sandals

Posted on July 29, 2008

I recently had the opportunity to catch a little flick that appears to be flying under the radar: The Dark Knight. I am a huge Batman fan and let me tell you, this film did not disappoint. The acting was superb, the action was intense, and the story was more than you’d expect out of a superhero flick. My only complaint has to be with the utter lack of “Kapows” and “Bla-Blams” following Batman’s punches. Perhaps that is a little nugget they can add to the inevitable sequel (I can’t wait to see who plays Harvey Dent this time!).

As genuine as the acting and dialogue was, there was a point in the movie that made me realize how movie scripts differ from real life. There comes a time that Batman (**Spoiler Alert** Bruce Wayne is Batman’s alter ego!!) tells Lucious Fox (**Spoiler Alert** Morgan Freeman’s alter ego!!) to enter his name into a computer. Lucious obliges and types “Lucious Fox.” It was then that I realized that this movie would have been 4 times as long had real-life dialogue been used. If Batman asked me to type my name into a computer, I would have promptly followed that with a few questions, such as: “ok, first and last name?”, “do you need my middle name, or will an initial do?”, “first then last or last then first?”, and “is a space required between names?” (not to mention many other questions like “when do you sleep if you are a corporate mogul by day and crime-fighting vigilante by night?”). Obviously, those questions were never asked in the movie. And I guess, as genuine as it would have made the movie, I would have been irritated if they had.

Speaking of movies, a theater is one place I absolutely refuse to wear flip-flops (you never know how cold the theater will be, and let me tell you, the last thing I want while watching a movie is cold tootsies). A few years back, my list of non flip-flop conducive places consisted of pretty much…well…everywhere. My wife’s insistence that I wear thongs, as I grew up calling them, eventually wore me down and I can often be found sporting them. For the most part, they are not bad. I am still perplexed by their basic design. Who in their right mind would design a “shoe” that makes the strap holding the sole run right through one of the most sensitive parts of the human body: the skin between your toes? That’s like designing a pair of pants that are held up by your eyelids.

I am also annoyed by one other aspect (disregarding of course the “snap” that accompanies every step). I’ve found flip-flops and motorcycles have one giant thing in common: they are both nearly impossible to back up with (my experience with motorcycles also indicates they are nearly impossible to go forward with too). I hate being at the store and realizing that I need to put ‘er in reverse while I am wearing my thongs. No matter how powerfully I curl my toes, I always manage to step out of my flops and onto the cold tile floor. So not only are my feet freezing, but they are also accumulating whatever residue has been left on the floor and I am certain to experience the mother of all toe cramps within seconds.

So to summarize things, Batman = good, flip-flops = bad. And just to clarify, the only thongs I step out of in the store are the flip-flop variety as opposed to the French swimwear variety (trust me, I leave those on!).

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