Wildcats #1 Fan! (Case Closed)
Posted on February 20, 2014
I get the impression that some people think I am a “poser” when it comes to being a fan of my beloved Arizona Wildcats. For example, I was informed that I was not a serious fan if I didn’t have the PAC-12 Network. Oh, I am a fan alright. Not only of the Cats, but also a successful marriage. This is why I stick with (PAC-12 Network-less) DirecTV as opposed to switching to Dish. Karina likes DirecTV and I like marital harmony. I wish to address these spurious allegations in a concise, pictorial rebuttal. I now present to you the reasons (in addition to my sweet tattoo) that I am indeed the University of Arizona’s #1 fan:
1. This Haircut: As backstory, my hair stylist/cutter/barber was an avid ASU fan. I told her that, specifically for the UA/ASU football game I was going to ask her to cut the block “A” into my hair, thereby forcing her to study the Arizona “A”. Who else would put their own hair at risk just to make an ASU fan study the A?
2. This shirt: As part of our ongoing rivalry, I made a bet with the same ASU fan that the U of A would win the football game. Alas, they did not. I was forced to pay up by buying her an ASU hat and shirt. Finding a urine-color…errr…gold ASU shirt in Wildcat country proved difficult. So I made my own. You’ll notice a few subtle jabs at her “learning institution” of choice.
3. This trip to Tempe: I am not only an outspoken fan of my university while in Tucson. I will vociferously support my ‘Cats, even in enemy territory. I recently found myself enjoying lunch in Tempe. When I noticed an ASU banner, I felt obligated to mark the territory for my beloved Wildcats.
4. This sweet moustache.
5. This jersey: I bought this custom UA jersey specifically for U of A home football games (I do have season tickets as any REAL fan would). It sports the #33 and the “name” is FREE TACOS. This is a clever reference to the U of A’s promotion that sees every fan get 2 free Jack-in-the-Box tacos when the Wildcats score 33 points or more.
Speaking of season tickets…I attend all the games I can. Even when the weather is poor or the outlook of the game is not good. Here I am, performing my sacred duty of humiliating the opposition at Arizona’s big Oregon win this year. Half the crowd stayed home as it was dreary out and everyone predicted a huge Wildcat loss. Oh, there were losers alright. AND THEY WERE THE ONES WATCHING THE GAME AT HOME!
6. This Offspring: Yes, such a UA fan am I that I am multiplying myself by exposing my son to the superior academic and competitive athletic program that Arizona’s…nay…our entire nation’s finest university has. And not just at football games. You see, it’s easy to be a football and basketball fan. How about the other sports? Here we are at a hockey game. And I can’t count the number of Women’s volleyball games I attended in college. Those ladies were…talented.
Your honor, the defense rests. If you feel YOU are the biggest UA fan, feel free to offer a rebuttal. Please know that I will be cross-examining you. And also that I am wearing these socks right now: